Oh.My.Gawd.

I finally watched Smallville last night. I was on the edge of my seat the whole show. Did Lionel pull the trigger? Is this when Lex goes bad? How did the call go back in time? Can I wait 4 weeks for the next new episode?

Today is Go Texan day at Dylan's school. He looks so cute as a cowboy. He was walking around here singing,"I wanna be a cowboy baby".

Chris had his dr.'s appt. last night with his pyschologist. He still has his mad at the world additude so the dr. is going to refer him to a therapist so we can find out why he is so mad all the time. I know why he is. He's mad because he can't do what he wants to when he wants to. Its the whole O.D.D. thing. I mentioned how he is grounded all the time and that could be why he is mad. The dr. understood. If Chris would just follow the rules we have set down for him he would have more freedom to do what he wants. But he doesn't. He does what he wants and to hell with the rules. I'm dreading him becoming a teenager. He acts defensive about everything which is part of the O.D.D. thing (opositional defiant disorder). I ask him to do something simple like take a shower and that becomes a battle. Its like I asked him to kill one of the cats. I just don't understand what is going on in his head. He wants to go outside and play. Fine, stay away from the ditch and the woods. Where do I find him playing? The ditch or the woods.

I'll just put it this way......I'm scared to let him out of my sight in fear that he will run away. He is that defiant. He is 11 years old. He makes it hard for me to love him or show him love when all I want to do is ring his neck. I wish I could. I'm just going to have to force it on him and show him that yes we do love him and want whats best for him. But he still fights it.

I have to go now......